Prioritizing Self-Care and Combating Isolation
Becoming a parent is an incredible and life-changing experience. You wouldn't change it for the world! As much as becoming a parent can bring joy, excitement, and purpose, it doesn't come without struggles. It’s easy to become overwhelmed caring for a newborn, regardless of whether you have a super easy going baby, or a colicky baby, or a hard time breastfeeding, it can be easy to neglect your own needs. It can also feel incredibly lonely at times, functioning on their schedule and caring for their every need. A friend of mine candidly admitted that her body did not feel like her own anymore, that she lived only to care for this little person, whom she loves completely.
Providing the utmost care for your child is obviously the number one goal for any parent but caring for your own needs is equally important. Constantly filling another's cup will not fill your own. And yes, it can be very rewarding to care for your sweet little one. Creating time for yourself will help you be a better parent and partner. Self care not only helps the person practicing it but can also help a relationship.
Self-care should be intentional. It can be anything that helps maintain or improve your physical, emotional, and mental well-being…or help you find your sanity. For new parents, self-care can include anything from getting enough sleep to taking a few moments to relax and recharge. Here are a few other self-care ideas. Take what works for you and leave what doesn't. Remember, this is your parenting journey.
Rest and Sleep: Lack of sleep is a common struggle for new parents, so take advantage of your baby's nap times to rest and sleep whenever possible. Delegate nighttime responsibilities with your partner or ask for help from a family member or trusted friend, allowing you to catch up on sleep. It takes a village…remember?
Ask for Help: It bears repeating but it takes a village! Don't be afraid to ask for help. Ask for help preparing meals, running errands, or watching your baby for a short while, accepting help can alleviate some of the pressure and give you time for self-care.
Pay Attention to What You Put In Your Body: Food fuels the body in good ways and bad. A little time taken to plan meals can save you a lot of time and stress for the week. Food full of protein, healthy fats, complex carbs, and nutrients can boost energy, mood, and milk supply.
Gentle Exercises: Try yoga or Tai Chi to help boost your energy levels and improve your mood. Yoga and Tai Chi are great exercises to help harness and gain more energy. For additional tips on starting an exercise routine, check out this podcast from NPR’s Life Kit. Remember to consult with your healthcare provider before starting any exercise routine.
Mindfulness: Try a guided meditation. Whether it's diaphragmatic breathing, meditation, or enjoying sitting in stillness, these practices can help reduce stress and promote a sense of calm amidst the demands of parenthood. Diaphragmatic breathing has also been widely proven to help lower your Sympathetic Nervous System (fight/flight/freeze) and return back to homeostasis (rest/digest).
Seek Out Community: IT TAKES A VILLAGE. Community is incredibly important, seek out other friends with children who empathize with the new joys and struggles of becoming a parent. Join parent support groups or online communities where you can connect with parents going through similar experiences. Sharing your joys, concerns, and challenges with others can provide a sense of validation, support, and reassurance. Feel free to come to Year One Wellness’ Baby Play Classes to meet other parents!
Schedule Me Time: If your baby starts to operate on a schedule, then try to schedule regular time for yourself that works with their schedule. Even if it's just a few minutes each day. Use this time to engage in activities that bring you joy and recharge your energy. It could be reading a book, taking a bath, listening to music, or pursuing a hobby you love.
Self-Compassion: “There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so be a real one”. Adjusting to parenthood takes time and patience, no one expects you to get it right all the time. Be gentle with yourself and don't strive for perfection. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small, and give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn along the way.
Gratitude: Start a gratitude practice. Be creative with it, maybe you journal three to five things during nap time or write them on your mirror with an Expo marker when you wake up. Make them as simple or as elaborate as you would like; it's your practice. Gratitude practices have been proven to support overall mental health and lower stress.
Self-care after the birth of your child can look different for everyone. For some, it may be having a friend over for tea while your little one is down for a nap, or taking a nap yourself. It could be listening to music that is not Baby Shark or Cocomellon. For others, it may be going for a walk or practicing yoga. The important thing is to find what works for you and make self-care a priority. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's necessary!
